You'd like to what....!?

Some people just don't have the appropriate filters when it comes sharing their bedroom desires...ladies & gentlemen this is the story of the sext that almost made me close-up shop and consider relocating.

In my last post I mentioned how I had experienced a bumpy start with suitor #2 but was willing to try again because I was genuinely interested.

I thought we had the communication thing down with our similar texting styles, sarcastic, funny and cleverly-steamy. I would soon find out I was wrong...

Two weeks ago I received a drunken sext that wasn't my style but was within my safe & sane standards: "I want to f you so hard" (+5 points for being clear and concise). Since we'd only been on two dates and experienced one home run, I promptly received an apology and told suitor #2 not to worry, applauding his ability to admit his error (+10 points - he can stay in the line-up).

Last friday, I was my usual classy & slightly out-of-control self, too busy loving life to notice my phone was full of texts. The next morning I lifted my pounding head off the pillow and excitedly reached for my phone in anticipation of all the clever texts that were waiting for me. You can imagine my shock and dismay when I read the following...

"I WANT TO HURT YOU SEXUALLY"

Ummm....say what now? I put the phone down, rubbed my eyes and checked again. Yep, there it was, I want to hurt you sexually. DELETE. I felt my legs immediately cross as I pulled the covers over my head. This text clearly surpassed my safe&sane standards. I couldn't get the words out of my mind as I remembered I was supposed to see him that evening. I debated my options:

1. Ignore it because he was drunk;
2. Politely decline our date for fear of finding out what he meant.

I decided on number two - I can't play dumb. Don't get me wrong, just because my name is Victoria doesn't mean I'm prim & proper - I can do work. I'm a creative person both in and out of the bedroom and I expect the same from my suitors; a line like that is just plain bad, and quite frankly, not ever something I want to be told (and I have a tendency to bite in the bedroom).

I politely stated his text was the reason for me passing on the date. True to form, suitor #2 apologized (expected so only +2), but I was out dancing with Gwen trying to forget. The calls didn't stop and then I received a FB message - he didn't remember what he said (-2 points for the lame excuse). I couldn't let that go and replied to the message, simply stating that as much as I love the compliments, I want to hurt you sexually was certainly not in my sexting lexicon and is nothing short of a turn-off.

Thinking this was truly over and I could focus my energy on the long weekend, I received another text in response to my FB reply: "Seriously, you thought that was a big deal? I would have laughed if you wrote that to me!!" C'mon, he's honnestly telling me I'm over-reacting because someone I've known for two weeks told me they wanted to demolish my downtown?

Additional point deduction: -5 points for not admitting he was in the wrong, minus another 10 for attempting to pass the blame onto me, and removal from the line-up for thinking that this was going to get him back to my place for another shirts & skins party.

No Likey!

UPDATE ( approximately 2 hours later)

I decided the best thing for me to do would be to take my frustration and disbelief out on the treadmill, Ridin Dirty with Chamillionaire. But, upon my return I found another text on my phone: It's unfortunate you feel this way - I really liked you...

Umm, yes it's for the best; never in this game will I ever choose a guy over the safety of my perfectly landscaped downtown.