Czech Please.

Hello lovelies,

C’est Pamela. I thought I would drop in and say hi while I was lucid. It’s Friday, and although you can hear the metaphorical roar of engines starting up all over the city ready to party, this engines been running with the pedal to the metal for days now. Hell, the transmission almost bottomed out once or twice this week, but we’re back on track.

Spent some quality time with some SOS sisters this week – Monica, Gwen, Victoria and Gemma. Was out last night with all of the above, kicking it at a favourite local venue, enjoying the hospitality of the other patrons in the form of a few bevies compliments of their dime and lack of ability to see when they are being taken advantage of. It was a fun evening full of dancing, a bachelor party, interactive lead singers and of course, the finest company our fair city has to offer. Kettle corn ready and waiting, humidifier pre-filled, we bid the old dude at the bar adieu and headed for home. But not before Gwen snagged a sweet two points on her way out for giving an admirer her number. Call display is a blessing.

Wednesday night was a little bit more… productive we shall say. And also the cause of a rather sleepy and red-eyed Pam Thursday at work. I met Monica at Jack Astor’s on Front Street after a long day at work, where the singles quickly became doubles, and we ended up at Croc Rock. Can’t give you too much detail here really, as I don’t remember much at that venue itself. However, I did learn that the dude I went home with was actually at Jack Astor’s and I invited him to join us at Croc Rock. And when I say learned, I mean when I asked the next morning while driving me home at 7 bells “if he went to Croc Rock often?” which was answered with “well not really. I only went because you invited me back at Jack’s.” Sure, if you say so. I thought we just met there. Either way, in the end I’m glad that I rewarded his efforts.

To summarize:

- Went back to his place. Got extra-curricular and pulled a Wayne Gretzky (she shoots she scores). Was ready to call a cab when the sun started doing its thing, but he insisted on driving me home. Alright thanks kindly, but I’m not going to put my nylons back on.

- Couldn’t place his accent as it sounded French, but he looked Eastern European. I swore he answered yes when I asked him if he was Czech, and during the morning drop off when I was assessing the points (“So, do you speak any other languages beside Czech?”) learned that he was infact from Greece. (Well either way, thinking he was Czech fuelled some pretty awesome fantasies that evening about my IT guy at work.)

- Awkward moment thankfully dulled by remaining booze in my system when he said “Do you even remember my name?”
“Uh, hellooooo do you know mine???”
“Yes. Pamela.”
“Oh. Well. How many times do I need to remind you that I was drinking last night??? Come on, we’ve covered this. We’re starting from scratch.”

He dropped me off, said he’d like to keep in touch and took my number. He tried to give me his business card to which I handed back because I said that he has my number, he can make the effort. This may or may not have comprised my recycling potential with him. We shall see. Either way I will sleep okay at night as he’s not the only Czech in the city I’m sure that cuts a mean silhouette in boxer briefs.

And now, let the weekend begin.

Stay fabulous,
Pam

30 minutes later - Update: Czech please just called. So the only thing comprised that morning was my pride. Ha ha who the hell am I kidding?!

Week 2 Standings

Its been a doozie sports fans... another collection of SOS events, and a whole lot of points! Here's the play by play:

• Pamela is still in the lead - she is a fierce competitor ladies and gentlemen - surging further ahead this week with a mid-week HR with a student, landing at a whopping 72 points. Girl needs a rest!
• Monica, who obviously is taking this challenge very seriously, was out on the town most nights this week, scoring some assisting and recycling involved in her leap to second place at 30 points.
• Next up we have the lovely Chelsea who regaled us with her charming tale of 'getting back on the horse'. A few ounces of vodka and some ice packs to the beav later, she slides in to third place with 27 points.
• Brooke, still a dark horse in this competition, kept her action low key this week, with some digits, a rematch and recycling... ok maybe not so low key compared to others, but I suspect this girl is going to have a mid season surge and give Pamela a run for her money :) 25 points.
• Next up we have the lovely Victoria, who *may* get a boost in points once the umps come back with a decision on the former CFLer from last weekend. For now, she's at 23 points.
• Gwen is a champion, it is official. She earned herself a shiny new trophy for her dance floor antics this weekend (official winning reason still not clear, and so I am using my artistic license here). Dance floor antics (pashing) + digit distro land this lovely lass at 16 points.
• Cassie (moi!) did not have such an exciting weekend. After weekend plans to travel to Europe were cancelled (thank you Icelandic Volcano), this little Becker decided to stay home, and nurse herself back to health after picking up a cold. Excuses, excuses, I know. Hopefully next week there will be something more interesting to report! 4 points.
• And again, Alex and Jemma are just getting warmed up for what is sure to be a record breaking season... 0 points... for now.

Thats it for this week - stayed tuned!

Cassie x

Burritos, and Trophys, and Boys.....Oh my!

Word. I'm Gwen, guess I'll start with a bit of an intro........... I like walks on the beach, impossibly high heels (although not necessarily together) chocolate men, debaucherous dancing, and dance floor make outs (always together)

I've been uncharacteristically quiet up until now, you see I was banking that with a little creative videography, shot in risque locales (not just riding the 'A-train' pervs......although it is worth a cool 7 points) with my regular recycler would be enough to keep me in the game.

However even the best laid plans, yadda, yadda. My sleazy summer dreams of recycling with 'The Rum' were dashed (in the form of a cease and desist email from his wife.....yipes!) Never one to be down and out for long I did what any right minded girl in the midst of this bloodbath of a competition would do. Hit the streets on the ho stroll!

Let me take you back if I may to the events of Thursday night I met up with the girls Monica, Pam, and Victoria at Grace O'Malley's (not my fave venue, as during play offs the ol' hair twirling ditzy blonde routine that is usually gold, is met with tired sighs and shhh's....... not cool)

After Victoria, Pam and I decided we could endure no more, we cheerfully bailed on Monica (who was in the good company of her current recycler, and several pints of Guinness in) and headed on over to the Madison with visions of freshmen in our heads.

We quickly came to realize that this was no longer the cherry venue it once was, at least not during exams anyway. They even brought out the day shift piano player, whom Pam cheerfully announced was 'shitting the bed' to the bouncers on our way out the door, to which they replied that we were welcome back at anytime, right.

Thursday night's only highlights were as follows....................

-Meeting Lisa our delightful server and grisly waitress, she reeked of cigs, had teeth reminiscent of grey chiclets and a heart of gold, we immediately employed her services to bring us the finest men in the establishment. She returned with a bus boy, and announced that he had a nice ass which Pam heard as tight ass and hence a nick name was formed.

-Scarfing delicious nachos while fending off stares by a gruesome lesbo twosome, in our intoxicated states we couldn't determine whether it was us or the nachos that they were interested in and quite frankly weren't about to find out.

-$ 3 drinks all night long, when a venue is this dead and this devoid of cute boys or other human life it is always best to ply oneself with massive quantities of alcohol.

-The low rent dread having DJ on the third floor whom Pam coined 'Busta Dimes' (seriously she was on fire that night)

Friday morning I woke up groggy and determined to wash the stink of Thursday nights failure off me. I was headed out to Little Italy with Monica, Chelsea, Victoria, and Alex. We started the night with a little warm up and pep talk at Monica's where we were temporarily joined by Brooke who was off for a rematch followed by recycling.

We started out the evening at Alex's brothers birthday party, we enjoyed multiple cocktails, and several shots prior to deciding that we needed a change of venue, we marched up the street like Goldie Locks determined to find a club that was just right, when we stumbled upon the College St Bar. Always a classic choice, if not a bit of a high school reunion.

We owned the dance floor for the majority of the night (thanks in part to Chelsea's handling of the DJ) during a particularly sweet set an old high school chum (we'll call him P.D) came in beaming proudly displaying two newly acquired hockey trophies. Countless photo sessions with said trophies occurred until, a likely drunk from celebrating P.D suggested I keep one, I was honoured (could we finally have an SOS cup?)

Friday nights highlights (not necessarily in order)

-Proudly bringing home the trophy and announcing to the crowd at burrito boys I got it for f*cking a hockey team.

-A drunken cab ride to the MacDonalds drive thru with Monica and Chelsea.

-Monica and I busting out an impromptu version of the Golden girls theme song over big macs

Lowlights.......

Grinding with a tragic page boy cap wearing boy named Andrew, his pick up lines were worse than his sloppy smooches but I was trailing in points and desperate to make a quick recovery, I gave him my number (off by one digit, natch) and vowed I'd do better the following evening.


Saturday night while the other SOS girls were taking it easy Victoria and I had serious plans to do work on a sweaty dance floor (ideally surrounded by equally hot chocolate men) we started the evening at Victoria's she is a stellar hostess and pulled out all the stops with fancy cocktails and delish appy's. She got the party started for sure.

We hopped on our silver chariot with its plush red velveteen seats and settled in for our ride to the ghetto. Upon arriving at our destination Victoria and I both decided that familiarizing ourselves with the $6 martini menu was an excellent idea. We went to work, with music that was so hot, one had to give serious thought about leaving the dance floor for a bathroom break.

Randomness occurred as the clock struck one and I ran into my 26 year personal trainer make out partner from a few weeks earlier at the Drake, he was cocky and cute as I remembered if not a few inches shorter. We danced and engaged in another dance floor make out sesh, as some dutty dancehall poured out the nearby speakers.

Victoria and I decided to pull the ol' we're just gonna grab our jackets before the ugly lights come on routine and bailed. We hailed a cab back to her place where we noshed on tasty left overs and agreed that we'd bring our SOS sisters back to the Park Dale Drink.

Saturday's highlights..................................

-Amazing music, and a packed dance floor. We did some serious work in some serious heels.

-$6 martini's we sampled half of the menu and promised we'd do better next time.

Lowlights...........................

-A tragic hair having bridemaids reject dress bedecked sheer black hose with visable seam in open toe shoe wearing mess and her friend trying to beef with us while we were dancing our hearts out, being the lady's that we are the only thing we were willing to throw down were our sick moves. Those hating b*tches can eat it!

-Poor Victoria being cornered by my personal trainer's even shorter wing man. We now know where all the short chocolate men in this city hang, but seriously where does a girl have to go to find a tall drink of water?

Well that about sums up my weekend in 6 trillion words or less, and baby the summer's just beginning!

Stay tuned,

Smooches,

Gwen

College Street

Part of the SOS team ventured out again last night and hit up the College Street West scene fiercely.

It all started at my place (Monica's) where Brooke, Chelsea, Alex and Gwen met up to watch the Habs game (ya, they won!). A veggie platter, some Guinness, vodka, and wine later it was time for Brooke to head out on a date, and the rest of us to meet Victoria on College Street.

We started on the right foot, with some vodka shots at Paeez and some dance floor warm up. Upon deciding there were no good suitors there we took to the streets. There was a quick stop at the Riva for some photo opportunities before settling in at College Street bar for more vodka and lots more dancing. There were quite a few dudes to toy with, which we did like pro's. A few digit points were earned, but we were much more focussed on rocking the dance floor and serious bonding between SOS sisters. There were several pictures that would lead an uninformed viewer to believe SOS is turning lezzie, but we were really just practicing our attention grabbing skills in case we find ourself in a situation where some extra effort is required. Gwen scored herself a trophy (literally, a trophy! Random but amazing). A stop at Burrito Boyz and McDonalds and we were on our way home just past 3am.

All in all, a fun and classy evening performance, and some beautiful bonding achieved.

8pm, time for a movie with Chelsea......I'm pretty sure she's going to want to spoon after last night........I'm not going to lie, it's a possibility.

xo

Monica

Jays. Nachos. Man Child.

Waking up and spying a large canister of Pizza Pizza’s Sweet Chilli & Garlic pizza shake on your dresser is totally normal, right? Let me clarify before this gets a little weird – the only activity it was involved in last night was being shaken in mass quantities on my pizza in the wee hours of the morning. Clearly I couldn’t live without it as it "somehow" ended up in my bag, and is now residing in my cupboard. It actually explains the massive bloating action that I am currently enjoying.

Will provide this week’s update now as it will be the only one for a few days at least I think. I’m sleep deprived, I’m dehydrated, and I need to address these dark circles underneath what have become some seriously craggy eyes. I have different plans this evening than my SOS sisters, and I think I may have to pull the chute to stay in and be a slob. I’ve got family coming for an overnight visit in the morning for a full day outing at the zoo and Wonderland the next day, so I best be refreshed and ready to walk my little heart out. Auntie has been known to enjoy her evenings so much that they turn into mornings, so the last thing I need is to be sweating out booze tomorrow. It worries the fam and makes my mother hesitate when I ask her to bring me back duty-free.

Alright sports fans let’s take it back to Tuesday night. Jays game. Cheap seats. Alcohol and jumbo-tron. Wasn’t out with any SOS sisters but did meet up with Monica and Cassie for a couple drinks afterwards. Which lead to Monica, a friend of mine we’ll call PJ, and myself heading to Loose Moose for a few more, which after us eating all his nachos lead to PJ and I leaving the bar with a guy that we just met to run to the Keg before they closed (Side Note: This guy was married, and we were just having drinks, no intentions on anyone’s party beyond that), which led to lots of running (literally) around trying to find a venue that was still serving. Gabby’s? Bingo! And upon sitting down and placing our order I noticed that our gang had grown by three guys. They saw us running and joined the party. I liked their style. This round’s on you, right?

A few quick rounds before last call later and we were taking it to the streets, heading to one of the newbie’s place so that this random collection of strangers could keep the party going. When not doing the ol’ one-eyed squint n’ text, my good eye was telling me that I was liking what I was seeing with one of the new group members. And it was his place that we were going to. It goes without saying that the Jays may not have scored a home run that night, but I did. The fresh morning sun coming in the window let me know that I best be going home to try and catch a quick 20 minute nap before hitting the showers and getting myself to work. One should expect nothing less than an all-nighter from a 22 year old really. They have no reason not to - life hasn’t completely beaten them down yet at that point. It was good that he lived in my neighbourhood so I could enjoy the walk home and stretch out my legs. What’s not good was doing an obvious walk of shame in a baseball jersey from the night before as the good people of Toronto are leaving for work. Head held high I kept walking, avoiding eye contact as best I could and praying that since I also used to work in the area that it wasn't anyone I knew, fuelled on the fact that the enthusiasm I had for Man Child’s youth was matched by his enthusiasm for me being ‘an older woman’. (I’m not that old, but certainly not 22 – on my birth certificate anyway). He knew my real age, I felt like a total cougar and I loved it.

I told Man Child I was out of town until Friday (was really Thursday, but didn’t want the distraction) and he texted me a couple of hours ago to see what was on the agenda this weekend. Not so sure that I’ll see him this weekend, but I’m sure I can manage to squeeze in some speed drinking some time soon before meeting up with him for some recycling. Hmmm, I wonder if he referred to me as Maggie May...

And with that, I’ll now excuse myself so that I can go and get me some water. As Rod reminds us, “The morning sun when it's in your face really shows your age…”

Socially Yours,

Pam

Victoria's Week 1 Round Up

So, before my hazy memories of last week disappear forever, and before the next round begins, I'd like to add my observations and conquest details - bear with me, I have 3 nights to discuss.

Initially I felt I was at a disadvantage missing the kick-off and I wasn't so sure about my skill set (I'm also new to the scene). Nonetheless, I was excited and ready - this will be my first "official" summer as a single and I promise I will do my best to not fall in love at the jersey shore.

Let's start with the TFC game. What the posts below didn't mention was that the evening actually began on the streetcar to the game when Pam asked a fresh-faced boy if he was wearing Clinique Men's cologne. After a deadly silence (and the rest of the streetcar waiting in suspense), she added the classic, "I'm not trying to hit on you...I just know that smell." Only we knew that doozey of a line was said with the purest intentions.

I gave my digits to Kanye - only after Pam confirmed he was not gay and reassured him of my potential, she's single and horny - thanks Pam, that comment was probably what fueled his attempt to give me a frencher in the middle of the crowd.

At Croc Rock Pam and I showed the cougars no fear as we worked hard for our money on the d-floor in our TFC gear. It was there I secured myself an assist for helping Pam with Andre the Giant (SOOO TALL) having to listen to his friend tell me my name was like a flower (smooth).

On Friday I was focused, but I couldn't keep up. The most action I got was a dance-elbow to the head from Pam's silver fox and a little dose of sexual harassment from some perv who pulled a sneak attack squeeze on my unsuspecting culo.

Remaining optimistic, and never one to say no to some vodka, I went out again - this time I hit the jackpot. At the first venue, I passed out my digits. The second proved to be much more successful thanks to the bachelorette rating cards. A big THANK YOU to Cassie who gave my conquest a disappointing 6 in order to me to lift his spirits back up with my delicious 8 - good enough to eat. Her assist put me in the big leagues. Luckily, he was a former athlete because I needed a pep talk to be convinced to bring him home. His motivational tactics proved successful - minutes later I was working towards a touchdown. I let him spend the night - I won't lie, the next morning was touch and go as I'm not 100% sure of the protocol and get wicked bed head. But, I made it out okay after a morning chat about life (!?). Needless to say, I'm now a fan of football.

In closing, I'm surprised with my efforts thus far -last weekend was awesome. My fave part occurred in-between my antics when a prospect I dropped texted to say it wasn't going to work...oh, if he only knew!
Victoria ;)

Texts from last night (or this morning)

"Another 26 points for the scoreboard compliments of a 22 year old from last night. No sleep. This season is killing me already". ~ Pam

(maybe this means she will put herself in a timeout and give the others a chance to catch up!!)

"I gave digits to some old dudes visiting the city so I could help them with restaurant choices during their stay. Digit points for me please. Oh and apparently Pam banged a 22 year old last night." ~ Monica

"Pammy's going to need reconstructive surgery soon! Perhaps she should also make a trip to costco for domers in bulk and sheets!?" ~ Chelsea

"Think I have Strep throat! Serves me right for smoking a doob with some kid from the bar. Let’s hope this is the worst any of us catch!" ~ Brooke

Brooke here

Guess it's my turn to tell you all a bit about how my week has gone and respond to some of the comments from my SOS sisters.

First off, thanks for the pressure Mon! :) You're really pushing me to take my game to the next level, that and some of the phone calls I've had the past couple of days.

For example, I gave my number out to a young boy at the Toronto FC game last Thursday, I did have a few beers so the baby blue tracksuit he was wearing didn't really bother me. Baby Blue (this is what we will refer to him as) called me on Saturday afternoon, was quite an awkward conversation because I was in the midst of a nap trying to cure my hangover from the great night at Grace O'Malley's. Well, I'm going to guess Baby Blue is about 20 years old and could possibly still live at home but my favourite part of the conversation was that his response to anything I said was, "NICE!!"

So, I've decided that I need to seize the moment, all would have been fine if I would have just taking him home Thursday night, or did what I needed to gain extra points and get out. Now I have this young kid calling and he's really turning me off, however, he could really be worth some big points... I am a trouper and will do my best!

Another gentleman I gave my number to on Thursday night sent me a text at about 11:00 Saturday morning, I told him Thursday that I might be available to go out on Saturday night, asking what time I wanted to get together... really?!? I've barely peeled my eyes open from the night before. Better then peeling a domer off my night table though, eh Chels... ?!?! I politely tell him I have plans later in the night and might be pressed for time. Very next text is him asking me if we can get together Sunday, I politely decline again and we agree to this coming, Friday. Later Saturday night he sends me yet another text and informs me something came up for work on the Friday and would Saturday be better? I told him I have potential plans for Saturday but if they fall through I would let him know. He wrote back asking me to please let him know as soon as I can and if I can't make it Saturday he will cancel his plans for Friday. I'll end this because it's running on but let's just say the texting didn't stop there.

Chels, looks like I may have a stage 5 clinger on my hands too. I'm still going to go through with it, see what happens, think he speaks a few lanuages and I need the points! I will however learn from Chelsea and go to his place!! :)

That's all I really have to report for now, nothing too exciting, hopefully I'll have some better stories next week.

Cheers!

It's time to meet Chelsea

Oy! Chelsea here. As you may already know, I'm just getting back in the game and I'm learning a lot of "what not to do" lessons..... unfortunately the SOS girls and I often have clouded judgement due to a few cocktails.....

I had myself a big night; my own personal home opener.....and the picture above represents recovery efforts, my dignity is somewhere at the bottom of that pile.

The trouble started on Friday night at the Grace O'Malley's game when I met a guy I'm going to refer to as "goggles", as that what I was wearing when I met him. Goggles and I hit it off, or so I thought.

I went for the rematch Sunday night chez Chelsea, and upon opening the door I realized the only choice I had was to get completed wasted. After some wine, little food, many cigs and hours of torturous small town twangy chat I decided to go for some points. It's beautifully recapped in a text I sent to Pam:

Pam, I nailed my mission something fierce last night. Only choice I had was to proceed to get blasted upon his arrival as it was rather apparent I must have had the beer goggles on Friday night. Anywho I took that $h*t for a ride to bring home some serious points, now he must simply disappear.

For the second time in my life I found myself with a stage five clinger; he arrived at 7pm'ish and didn't depart until 2pm'ish the following day.....now I'm hiding out at Monica's as he knows where I live and I'm just not up for drop-ins.

A few doozy low lights from the rematch:

1. Nakedness and surprise: a sweater vest of body hair.

2. Performance in the sack was substandard to say the least.

3. Morning wake up to a used domer tossed on a book on the bedside table.

4. Morning walk included some anal relief on his part (known by sound not smell- pretended it didn't happen, but it did).

Lessons:

1. First dates should always be scheduled in a public place (in order to ditch when needed).

2. Do not get drunk and add date to facebook friends (and realize next day that needs to be reversed and quite possibly blocked).

3. Do not exchange blackberry messenger info (which will be followed by a deletion).

4. Do not suggest a sleepover before the date has even begun.

5. Take pictures of dudes at the bar when meeting them so a sober judgement can be made the following day.

6. Do not engage in drunken messaging after meeting leading them believe you are more interested then you are.

One final note before I depart...always keep a spare ice pack handy for the morning after-bruised BEAV!!!

Chelsea out.

xoxo

Points; a bit of info for the readers

As a blog reader you are entitled to a little insight on our point system. We will give you the highlights, however there are some points that will be awarded that will likely remain a mystery (until that SOS'r blogs about it anyway).

First category: Profession

Carnie- 20 points

A list celeb- 15 points

Doctor, Lawyer, Pilot, B list celeb- 10 points

Construction worker, Tradesmen, Performer, Canadian celeb- 8 points

Teacher, Politician, Government Workers- 7 points

Police Officer, Fire Fighter, Paramedic, etc- 6 points

Student, Artist, Sailor, Army dude- 5 points

Hourly wage- 4 points

Accountant, Banker, Business Man, Sales- 3 points

Bartender- 2 points

Second Category: Languages

No english- 10 points

English+1- 2 points

English +2- 4 points

English +3- 6 points

Over 4 languages- 8 points

Third Category: Age

7+ years younger- 10 points

10+ years older- 7 points

6-1 year younger- 4 points

1-10 years older- 3 points

Over 50- 15 points

Fourth Category: Hair

Ginger- 4 points

Blonde- 2 points

Black- 2 points

Brunette- 2 points

Grey- 3 points

Mullet (requires photographic evidence)- 10 points

Other undesirable hair- 4 points

Fifth Category: OTHER

Female - 10 points

Virgin- 10 points

Recycling (repeat action with a previous suitor)- 5 points

Coworker- 4 points

** NOTE, all these points are for home runs; if an SOS'er gets on base half points are awarded

ACTION POINTS:

Home Run- 5 points

On base (anything besides home run)- 1 points

Digits (giving, getting is nice but no points)- 2 points

Rematch (date)- 3 points

Assist- 4 points

OK, that's all you get; hopefully this helps bring some clarity to the game.....happy reading.

SOS

This week's standings

Greetings sports fans - it has been a busy week for the SOS ladies - including our first home runs of the season! Well done to all. Here are the stats as of April 18th:

• Pamela has 'come from behind' to take the lead with a whopping 46 points!
• Victoria had 'a whole lot of action' with digit distribution, assists and getting on base, to total 17 points
• Monica is doing alright despite her 'situation' with Mr. Beer, coming in at a very respectable 13 points
• Next up is Gwen who is giving out her number like its going out of style! Action this week brings her to 12 points
• Brooke made it out to a few events this week and racked up some digit distribution points, but our money is bet firmly on her upping the game and improving on her 11 points
• Chelsea had some success of her own this week, with some digit distribution which led to a rematch (date). We are all still awaiting the points outcome of that event. For now, she's at 10 points
• Cassie, who up until this point has had to defend her heterosexual status due to conflicting engagements with SOS events, FINALLY got on the board with an assist to Victoria (he was a exCFL player to boot!). 4 points
• Jemma and Alex made a good effort this week to turn up at various SOS shitshows, however are still waiting for their opportunity to show the men (and/or women?) of Toronto what they can do. 0 points

If this is a sign of things to come, this is going to be a crazy season - be sure to stayed tuned!

Cassie

More intro's...

So I suppose it’s time for the rest of us to come forward and make our introductions. Hi, I’m Pamela, or if you’d rather, Pam. Just don’t call me Pammy – I’m not from the 80’s and I don’t wear scrunchies in my hair. Any more.

It’s Sunday night and the full force of the past busy few days are starting to catch up with me. I’m wiped, but it was well worth it. Four nights out drinking in a row… two nights in a row of entertaining late night guests… but who’s counting? Okay, fine we are.

As Monica mentioned earlier, the FC game on Thursday was a great way to kick off the season. The seats were stellar, the crowd was wild, and the drink service was excellent. Toronto winning the game was cause for celebration, so once Victoria wrapped things up with the dude that we are referring to as Kanye (this is her story to tell, not mine so I’ll move on) her and I took it to the streets to look for the after party. Brazen Head’s line up wasn’t budging, so we hopped in a cab and took the party to Cabin Five. Although it wasn’t busy, great dance music and lots of dance floor so we stayed and had a great time. Having been out the night before for a few drinks, knowing that we had an early start in the morning and a busy night to follow at Grace O’Malley’s with the rest of the SOS’ers, we decided to do the responsible thing and make our way home. But somehow on the way home Croc Rock distracted us so in we went. More drinks, more dancing, and some conversation later turned into Victoria and I saying good night and me walking home with a rather tall Australian dude (“The Giant”), because I think that it’s important to make visitors feel at home in our fine city. We popped into a bar for one last round for good measure and went on our merry way. Fast forward to a home run, me setting my alarm for 6 am for work and being quite vocal about how I have to get up early, but cabs can be easily flagged down on the next street over. Welcome to Canada, but don’t let the door hit ya.

Really Grace O’Malley’s was destined to be rowdy from the start. There were just so many of us. Not all of the girls are fans of the venue which is okay, but I love it there. The music and bands, the relaxed crowd, the cute men. The dance floor provided me with a rather attractive fellow from out of town who was there with a bachelor party – he wasn’t THE bachelor, I checked. I wasn’t about to roll the dice and chance turning my back on him to try and find him later, so I quickly deeked out of eyeline of the cute Swiss gentleman who struck up a conversation by saying that he had seen me out at Croc Rock the night before (side note: $hit. I don’t remember seeing him there. I would definitely have traded him for the Auzzie. Lesson learned guys – it doesn’t pay to be a wall flower. Grow a set.) and settled in for some quality time with a gentleman that we now refer to as **Karl. Karl was hot. Turns out Karl was also 42. Karl didn’t look a day over 33 and I gather spends lots of time at the gym much to my delight. I liked Karl. Shame that I lost his number somewhere in between when I took him out to the street at 5 am to get a cab and the next afternoon when I remembered I had it. Or turns out, lost it. But it’s all good, even though I would have quite enjoyed recycling with him, it’s still early in the season.

*It’s actually not his name. I had either missed the window of opportunity to get his name or I forgot it, but either way I had to call Monica over and ask her to introduce herself so that she could relay it to met. In the end I heard wrong (loud venues can be a double edge sword – takes the edge off the slurring but you can get your facts mixed up), and even got clarification later on in the cab from him if it was spelt with a C or a K. It wasn’t until the next day when Monica texted me for a status update and upon my reply that Karl had come home with me, and was met with a “what the hell happened to that cutie insert real name?!?”, that I realized I had it wrong. Ooopsie.

I’ll close with some highlights from the past couple days, followed by some Learning Points. What you thought this was just all trashy no classy? That’s where you’re wrong, this is a highly sophisticated social experiment. Very scientific stuff.

A Few Highlights:

- Karl and I walking to my place after the bar, and while making a last minute decision to hop on the street car rather than walk since it was freezing, hearing my purse buzz and remembering that I had Gwen’s cell phone. Turn around at that exact moment to make eye contact with a passenger in the back of a cab stopped at a light, who turns out to be Gwen heading to the same destination. Scoot the hell over we’re getting in!

- Upon getting home with Karl remembering that I had stripped my bedding before I left that very evening after entertaining The Giant the night before, and didn’t have the time to replace the linen. Super classy, a bed with no sheets. Shall I just remove the light fixtures and have them dangle from wires? As soon as Karl went to the washroom I rushed Gwen into my room to quickly help me do a quick clean sweep since it was in a little disarray after a particularly busy week at work (and play) and we were ramming things into my closet. We decided that there just wasn’t time to put sheets on the bed. Him walking into a bedroom with the two of us in it would have just put out some promises that we weren’t prepared to fill. And who wants to have to follow that?

- Finding a man’s sock on my bedroom floor, not sure who’s it was, and laughing to myself picturing someone leaving with only one sock on. Was I really that quick to turn them out?

Learning Points:

- Ready-made Kettle Corn is an excellent choice for an after the bar snack, covering all bases by being both salty and sweet, while providing dietary fiber. Mental note to keep a bag handy.

- It’s worth the two-minutes to fill up and plug in the humidifier before you’re off to sleep, taking that extra effort to do what you can for tired and booze-induced dehydrated skin. It’s far too early in the season to slip and get haggard, little things count.

- And finally, never underestimate the power of a good cocktail for putting a little freshness in your step.

The morning after

Where to start? Two nights out, two hundred stories......why not tell a few while enjoying my morning coffee?

First off let me make introductions; I'm Monica. I love my SOS sisters, and I love this game......however...... I met a fella during spring training who we call Mr. Beer. He's very sweet and now nearly all the SOS girls have met him (aside from Alex) and given the thumbs up, but where does this leave me in the game? Well, I am very environmentally conscience and plan to continue doing lots of recycling. Additionally I'm confident I can get a lot of points for assists; it's a win/win, help out a fellow SOS sister, and score some points. I think given my circumstance right now I am not a front runner (although it's a long way till September playoffs). I am competitive, so that was hard to admit; I won't come in last, I simply will not let that happen. My money is on Brooke for now, however after the past 2 nights it is safe to say Pamela is a pretty strong competitor despite how many times she has said "I'm probably not going to do very well at the game, I'm just not competitive"......this from the girl who scored 2 home runs in 2 days.

Thursday evening, home opener for the Toronto FC and 5 of the SOS sisters were there to support the home team. Pamela, Victoria, Gemma and I were together, and Brooke was on the other side of the field with some work pals. I'm going to leave those stories up to Pamela or Victoria to post......I will say I am very impressed that Pamela, Victoria and Brooke all scored points that night. (and an assist for me!)

Moving right along to Friday evening when the SOS sisters hit the town again. It was a home game at Grace O'Malleys to watch some playoff hockey followed by some dancing.

Roll call for the evening; Gemma, Chelsea, Victoria, Pamela, Brooke, Gwen and I (Monica).

Great venue for this game, I think it was almost too easy for some of the girls (Brooke). We watched the Sens game, had some drinks/snacks. Mr. Beer joined us after first period, what a brave guy to come hang out with that many 'ladies'.....and SOS sisters at that!

Brooke was in game mode before she arrived and throughout the hockey game she was putting out a few early feelers, and managed to meet a 23 year old with undesirable hair.....I think she's getting digit points there, too bad she left a lot of points on the table with that guy. I did just receive a text from her asking what kind of points she can get for recycling in a truck and riding the A train.....I guess she's in for another fun night, and this is why I have my money on her for now.

Moving right along to Chelsea, she's a quick learner. She really upped her game from last week, she didn't mention her dad or any ex boyfriends all nights to her prospects! She did score some digit points, and I expect she will have a rematch. Brilliant work Chelsea. Assist to Brooke on this one.

I'm going to finish this entry with a few words about the lovely Pamela.......she's the kind of girl a dude wants to bring home to his mother. She's beautiful, smart, friendly, polite and loves to bake...........and then there is Pamela after a few cocktails; look out boys of Toronto, or as this week has gone, look out boys visiting Toronto, because this girl is in the game. 2 home runs in a week, it's inspirational really.

Time to get ready for grown up activities, if it's not a bridal shower it's a baby shower....it's getting a tad annoying (and surprising) being the only girl who gets drunk at these events...but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do; I rock these things SOS style.

xoxo

Monica

Doing the Queen West Scene

First night of S.O.S off to a great start! Unfortunately, Cassie and Victoria didn't make it out last for the first night. What a bummer. And we're really not sure why - their details and excuses...kinda shady to be honest. And for that, we're starting to tell people that they might be Lezzies. Brooke helped us kick off the night at Monica's place with some burnt burgers and a good few belches, and a revelation that a threesome might be brewing between her and a co=worker and his wife. She didn't make it out the bar though because she decided to go for the sure thing and do some 'recycling' last night... But, we still made sure S.O.S night was a success:

#1. Only a little ditty from MJ (Michael Jackson) can get Monica to dance for a cabbie in the middle of the street! Check.

#2. Alex taking a mean spill in the middle of the bar after trying to find the S.O.S. chaperone for the night. Check!

#3. Monica volunteering Chelsea to a male acquaintance - in need of a little "how's your faaaather" - as being "oh yeh, she'll be down for a one-night stand". Check. What a great S.O.S. sister!

#4. Alex pickin' out a used ciggie butt from the bon-fire pit on the Drake Hotel patio, smokin' it, thinking it was Monica's leftover. And this makes it okay, why? Check. (P.S. Alex doesn't smoke.)

#5. Gwen went for a double-header last night at the same time, and at the same bar. Way to go Gwen. What a champ. I think she might be some strong competish for the rest of the ladies! (Pam was her dancing side-kick at this point, so lawrd knows what she was up to while Gwen was takin' care of biz?!)

#6. And, we'll end off the night with a story from good old Chelsea. Oh Chelsea, where do we begin? She's just gettin' back in the game, so ya can't fault the poor girl for trying. HOWEVER, here's the top 3 things NOT TO SAY when trying to pick up a new guy (Gemma's cat-like reflexes came out after jerking to catch her heavenly poutine, which LEAPED out of her hands after reacting to the hilarity of the following):

- "OH hey, you remind me so much of this guy I dated in college!"

- "Oh, my dad is gonna love you!"

- "Wow, we're gonna have so much fun together..."

We'll just leave you with those words of wisdom. There's not much else to say at this point.

Gemma, Chelsea and Monica

Meet The BECKERS...Always Open

Meet 'The Beckers' - Alex, Gemma, Chelsea, Monica, Brooke, Pamela, Cassie, Victoria and Gwen!

We're all meat eaters...despite what Chelsea says...she's the "shy, coy' one of us. You know, tries to "pretend" she's a vegetarian....anyway....Right now, we're kicking of the summer of S.O.S! What's this you ask?

Well....first, S.O.S. is the Summer of Sluttiness. Let's wind back the cock..oops sorry clock, to help explain why you need to tune in and experience the transcendental journey this blog is gonna take you on.

First "What's going through your head if you're the person taking a bubble bath at 5 in the morning, after nailing the leader singer of a not so well known, Canadian band, while he has left after the sex, and parties with his fellow band mates in another hotel room?"!

Second "You know you're a shoe in when you go to the car to get blankets, the guy sees a child seat (not yours) in the back of the car...not hidden, nobody asks questions, and he STILL spreads your legs in the elevator of well-known hotel that has obvious cameras! Concierge, CLEARLY enjoys his shift!"

We can't reveal which of us these stories are about, what we can tell you...there's a helluva lot more where those came from!! Only this summer, a point scheme's in place! Hell, nothing like some friendly competish among friends!

On our way out now to kick-off the S.O.S. HOOR-LA...so, stay tuned for more on the show-down, shit show!!

Spring Training

Off to a great start. Point system will be established next week, then the summer games begin......