Word. I'm Gwen, guess I'll start with a bit of an intro........... I like walks on the beach, impossibly high heels (although not necessarily together) chocolate men, debaucherous dancing, and dance floor make outs (always together)
I've been uncharacteristically quiet up until now, you see I was banking that with a little creative videography, shot in risque locales (not just riding the 'A-train' pervs......although it is worth a cool 7 points) with my regular recycler would be enough to keep me in the game.
However even the best laid plans, yadda, yadda. My sleazy summer dreams of recycling with 'The Rum' were dashed (in the form of a cease and desist email from his wife.....yipes!) Never one to be down and out for long I did what any right minded girl in the midst of this bloodbath of a competition would do. Hit the streets on the ho stroll!
Let me take you back if I may to the events of Thursday night I met up with the girls Monica, Pam, and Victoria at Grace O'Malley's (not my fave venue, as during play offs the ol' hair twirling ditzy blonde routine that is usually gold, is met with tired sighs and shhh's....... not cool)
After Victoria, Pam and I decided we could endure no more, we cheerfully bailed on Monica (who was in the good company of her current recycler, and several pints of Guinness in) and headed on over to the Madison with visions of freshmen in our heads.
We quickly came to realize that this was no longer the cherry venue it once was, at least not during exams anyway. They even brought out the day shift piano player, whom Pam cheerfully announced was 'shitting the bed' to the bouncers on our way out the door, to which they replied that we were welcome back at anytime, right.
Thursday night's only highlights were as follows....................
-Meeting Lisa our delightful server and grisly waitress, she reeked of cigs, had teeth reminiscent of grey chiclets and a heart of gold, we immediately employed her services to bring us the finest men in the establishment. She returned with a bus boy, and announced that he had a nice ass which Pam heard as tight ass and hence a nick name was formed.
-Scarfing delicious nachos while fending off stares by a gruesome lesbo twosome, in our intoxicated states we couldn't determine whether it was us or the nachos that they were interested in and quite frankly weren't about to find out.
-$ 3 drinks all night long, when a venue is this dead and this devoid of cute boys or other human life it is always best to ply oneself with massive quantities of alcohol.
-The low rent dread having DJ on the third floor whom Pam coined 'Busta Dimes' (seriously she was on fire that night)
Friday morning I woke up groggy and determined to wash the stink of Thursday nights failure off me. I was headed out to Little Italy with Monica, Chelsea, Victoria, and Alex. We started the night with a little warm up and pep talk at Monica's where we were temporarily joined by Brooke who was off for a rematch followed by recycling.
We started out the evening at Alex's brothers birthday party, we enjoyed multiple cocktails, and several shots prior to deciding that we needed a change of venue, we marched up the street like Goldie Locks determined to find a club that was just right, when we stumbled upon the College St Bar. Always a classic choice, if not a bit of a high school reunion.
We owned the dance floor for the majority of the night (thanks in part to Chelsea's handling of the DJ) during a particularly sweet set an old high school chum (we'll call him P.D) came in beaming proudly displaying two newly acquired hockey trophies. Countless photo sessions with said trophies occurred until, a likely drunk from celebrating P.D suggested I keep one, I was honoured (could we finally have an SOS cup?)
Friday nights highlights (not necessarily in order)
-Proudly bringing home the trophy and announcing to the crowd at burrito boys I got it for f*cking a hockey team.
-A drunken cab ride to the MacDonalds drive thru with Monica and Chelsea.
-Monica and I busting out an impromptu version of the Golden girls theme song over big macs
Lowlights.......
Grinding with a tragic page boy cap wearing boy named Andrew, his pick up lines were worse than his sloppy smooches but I was trailing in points and desperate to make a quick recovery, I gave him my number (off by one digit, natch) and vowed I'd do better the following evening.
Saturday night while the other SOS girls were taking it easy Victoria and I had serious plans to do work on a sweaty dance floor (ideally surrounded by equally hot chocolate men) we started the evening at Victoria's she is a stellar hostess and pulled out all the stops with fancy cocktails and delish appy's. She got the party started for sure.
We hopped on our silver chariot with its plush red velveteen seats and settled in for our ride to the ghetto. Upon arriving at our destination Victoria and I both decided that familiarizing ourselves with the $6 martini menu was an excellent idea. We went to work, with music that was so hot, one had to give serious thought about leaving the dance floor for a bathroom break.
Randomness occurred as the clock struck one and I ran into my 26 year personal trainer make out partner from a few weeks earlier at the Drake, he was cocky and cute as I remembered if not a few inches shorter. We danced and engaged in another dance floor make out sesh, as some dutty dancehall poured out the nearby speakers.
Victoria and I decided to pull the ol' we're just gonna grab our jackets before the ugly lights come on routine and bailed. We hailed a cab back to her place where we noshed on tasty left overs and agreed that we'd bring our SOS sisters back to the Park Dale Drink.
Saturday's highlights..................................
-Amazing music, and a packed dance floor. We did some serious work in some serious heels.
-$6 martini's we sampled half of the menu and promised we'd do better next time.
Lowlights...........................
-A tragic hair having bridemaids reject dress bedecked sheer black hose with visable seam in open toe shoe wearing mess and her friend trying to beef with us while we were dancing our hearts out, being the lady's that we are the only thing we were willing to throw down were our sick moves. Those hating b*tches can eat it!
-Poor Victoria being cornered by my personal trainer's even shorter wing man. We now know where all the short chocolate men in this city hang, but seriously where does a girl have to go to find a tall drink of water?
Well that about sums up my weekend in 6 trillion words or less, and baby the summer's just beginning!
Stay tuned,
Smooches,
Gwen
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