Vodka Infused Thoughts

I woke up this morning craving advil, and after recalling the many bottles of wine, followed by several cocktails with Victoria, Cassie and Pamela, my mind went into deep thought mode...

1. Why do we say "vodka soda", but don't skip the 'and' in other cocktails? Gin AND tonic. Rum AND coke. Rye AND diet.....hmmm....this one occupied at least 25 minutes of my commute this morning, and it was really a 'stump the chump' question; I have no conclusion.

2. Where did the bruise on my arm come from? Hmmmmm, and why is there a freezie wrapper on my floor.....hmmm, let's put the pieces together. Right, so left the bar with Cassie and had some pizza (yummy). Went to Cassie's place and helped her make her bed as considered crashing at hers. Determined it would be best to go home rather than worry about it in the morning (she accused me of leading her on, I guess that is fair). Stumbled out of her condo and got into a cab. Arrived home, fumbled around for at least 5 minutes tying to find my keys and then make them open the door (so tricky!). Shedded my clothes from the moment I got in the door down the hall toward my bedroom (was a lovely trail to pick up this morning). Hopped into bed. Had a sudden intense craving for a freezie. Rolled out of bed to get freezie. Crashed into the door frame coming back into my bedroom, AH HA- BRUISE! followed by a round of cursing then hopping back into bed to enjoy my freezie, toss wrapper on floor and pass out. So classy.

3. This is the last one, because 3 thoughts on a morning like this is a lot! So, was last night more like a Thursday or a Tuesday? Ok, so it's a short week after the holiday on Monday, which made me shout various times last night "Wednesday is the new Thursday". But how could Wednesday be like Thursday after Tuesday realllllllly felt like Monday (and I had a case of the Mundays)? Hmmm, which day really does feel skipped? I don't even enjoy going out on Thursday's anymore because the city fills up with douche bags, so why would I have been excited last night about Wednesday being the new Thursday? I mean really, if I've learned anything this summer it's that Tuesday's are fun days.....several Tuesday evenings with Pamela, as well as a good one a couple weeks ago with Cassie and Victoria- all karaoke related fun on Tuesdays.....oh Tequila Sunrise, we will be back. So, similiar to thought #2 I did come to a conclusion on this one, Wednesday was my Tuesday, and my Fun-day this week, and today feels like Thursday....so it is really Wednesday (never liked hump day anyway) that gets skipped in a short week!!

A self-observation from last night.....I figured I would be right back in the game, after my conversation with Beer earlier this week, but I wasn't. I just wasn't feeling it, had no interest in talking to any of the boys. Highlight was when we chatted up the table of 2 girls beside us at the first patio we were at, they were very nice despite likely feeling that Pamela was hitting on them. I wonder when I will get my mojo back? I hope it's not this weekend when we visit a small town festival- I have a good idea what the local talent will be like and think it best to keep my distance from them!

OK, well off to be productive......and by that I mean try to get stories from Victoria and Pam about the trouble I'm sure they got into after Cassie and I bailed :)

xo

Monica

Stop or my mom will shoot

I don’t even know if I can articulate well enough the horror that was my rematch with Police Officer on Friday. It was last minute, it was brief, but it was torturous. As painful as it is, I will go back in time to re-visit this event for your reading (dis)pleasure.

After texting back and forth a few times during the day on Friday, I decided that I could spare a very short amount of time to meet up after work that day before I headed out of the city for the weekend. I figured it would kill two birds with one stone and allow for a meet-up that was forced to be brief, and would let traffic ease a little. Plus he was cute and seemed nice. So I agreed. We met near where I work for a quick drink on a patio (alcohol, so previous concern alleviated), where he knew my time constraint from the beginning. From about two minutes in, the red flags started flying. If I was a bull, all that red would have sent me totally loco.

In a nutshell, this guy is obsessed with being a police officer and in turn thinks that everyone else is as well and holds them on a pedestal. This includes me. All of this was illustrated quite painfully for the next 40 minutes that followed after greeting each other. (It lasted 40 minutes cause dude order two beers at once and the moment that last drop was gone I bounced quicker than a criminal fleeing the scene.) First it was the reference to where he parked and how he needed to put money in the meter – “Usually we* just put our badge info in the windshield and we can park wherever we want. But nah, I’m not sure about this particular area so just incase. Could get some rookie.” He made several references to rookies, as greying at the temples (which I found quite attractive when we met) and clearly at least mid- 30’s, a rookie he was not. *Please note the use of ‘we’. It was a very common theme used in every sentence, referring to police officers as a whole.

And it snowballed from there. He talked non-stop for the majority of the time, just randomly and incessantly dropping information about all-things police related, almost as if picking up a conversation out of mid-air. I was lost for energy, lost for words, and in total disbelief so I just stared through my sunglasses dumbfounded at how someone can be so clueless.

Some particular highlights, and these are direct quotes as I put them right into my phone after I left so I wouldn’t forget. I kid you not:

- I’m looking around a lot. I don’t want you to think it is because I am checking out other girls – why would I? You’re beautiful – but it is a habit to always look around and know our surroundings. I am constantly looking around. It’s second nature. (I never noticed.)

- It’s like when someone calls in a 1330 – oh sorry, that’s when another police officer calls for help and…

- Ya so we undergo extreme psychological testing because it’s very important for us as officers of the law to… (Clearly confidence was not an area you lacked in when the test results came back!)

- I’m not saying we’re God but when I’m telling someone to drop their gun or get outta the car, they need to listen. You see this uniform, and you listen. (At this point I am screaming in my head “WTF!?” and wishing I could be recording this. Also wondering if I was on candid camera)

- When I’m at work I only use my head. When someone’s shooting at you, it’s all head. But when I’m outside work, I only use my heart. I’ve got a big heart, you got to take chances. You will notice I am direct. Which is why I called you.

- You’ll see that I always choose to sit somewhere with my back to the wall. We all do. We need to know our surroundings, it is all part of our training. Like even sitting here I feel a little exposed but this was the only spot on the patio free so I though okay, I can compromise. (Calm down Jason Bourne.)

- So, what was your first impression of me last night? (Clearly fishing for compliments, so I just said “I don’t know. What are you looking for here exactly?” That was not what he was looking for in an answer, so the subject was changed to what comes next)

- There’s cops, and then there’s traffic cops.

- We go places, we don’t pay cover. But we need to be careful where we go because we never know the crowd there. That’s why I don’t really show my badge or let people know what I do, I like to keep that to myself and just be a regular guy. (“Right, just like when you dropped your wallet open in my face to show me your badge? I don’t remember that taking any prompting at all, so…?” Subject got changed like I didn’t say anything and he moved on.)

- I may go to Niagara this weekend. (Niagara’s fun, you should.) Well, maybe I can take you there for a weekend when you get back from your trip. (I laugh, make a face and say let’s not jump the shark here. Inside I am scared.)

I could go on and on, but I hope you get the picture. Like I said these were some gems that I squirreled away on the way home, but there were so many more. It was ridiculous. I called the waitress over for the cheque, we started walking and I headed out in a different direction refusing the company for the walk home, stating that I was in a hurry and had a stop to make. He went in for a hug, and I heard a distinct sniffing sound near my ear. He was smelling me. He told me I smelled really nice. Do I remember him telling me that I smelled nice the evening before? No, I told you, I was drunk. I started to walk away, he lingered to make conversation and kept moving in closer despite me moving away in fear he was going in for a kiss. Usually I would just deal with it, but this time I would have made a scene. He told me about six times that the ball was in my court, what his work schedule was, if I want to get together with him to contact him when I got back, but he’ll leave the ball in my court, etc. I get it, the ball is in my court. Naturally I hit that ball right the heck out of my court as soon as it touched the ground. I don’t want your balls at all!

Needless to say I am not contacting him and hope to never have to suffer with his presence again, but have left his number in my phone to serve as caller ID. Word to the wise: Play on this side of the law folks, you never know just who lurks behind that uniform.

Considering moving on to Purilator delivery guys (I'll take a brown uniform over the blue ones),

Pam

Midday Shenanigans!

Let's take a step back to July 30th.

Having a smoke with a colleague and very close friend I was explaining to her my Tuesday night where I cashed in huge on points. When telling her about my lip lock with Anna to my surprise she was quite offended that she too is 43 and I didn't look to her for the extra points!!

After explaining to her that the bonus points end that day we make a plan to leave the office and 'go to the bank'. At about noon hour we drive to the plaza close by, she did need to go to the bank, and on our way back I pull over to an empty part of the parking and ask if she is really willing to go through with this...

After a few awkward minutes with a lot of giggling we went for it!

Thanks for the points Jean you truly are a great friend!!!

~Brooke
xo

Bye Bye Beer

Well, they say all good things come to an end…..and the end of Beer+Monica is upon us…..

So, as you know, based on my various blogged complaints, he really hasn’t been around much, and when he has it’s been the less fun, and more hung-over side of him; probably a clear indication that he really wasn’t into me, or this, but I let it play out for a bit before deciding the talk that happened yesterday had to happen.

We met up for a beer (yes, the irony), caught up on 2 weeks of life and then jointly decided it wasn’t right. I was honest and told him I felt like he just wasn’t that into me anymore (which is fine, I mean honestly, I am far from perfect), and I also told him I thought it had something to do with him being too young. I don’t think he loved that comment, and I didn’t intend it to be mean, just true. I did tell him by young I didn't necessarily mean age, but more where he is in life; building up his career (I've been working on mine for 10 years and am considering a change) as well as his current living situation, with several roommates (he plans to get his own place in October, but that will be his first time living alone). He said he wasn’t sure he was ready for anything serious, despite being the one that took it there (he decided to meet my family, and I gave him many outs- and hoped he would take them when he didn’t). All in all, he’s a nice guy, we had fun, but it wasn’t going anywhere, so it’s time to move on. We did agree to continue being facebook friends, for now….and like I said, I do like him and it’s too bad it didn’t work out, but c’est la vie right?

So, hmmmm, what’s next? I have a bit of a crazy work schedule right now, and I wish I could take a week off and just sleep. Back to reality; there have been a few ‘suitors’ that have persistently been telling me that I need to get rid of a boyfriend that pays me no attention so they can show me how good they will treat me. Perhaps it is time to take them up on that offer, I could use a little pampering after a “boyfriend” that was MIA most of the time.

Look forward to updating you on my new adventures,

Xo
Monica

PS- thanks so much to the Beckers for your kind and supportive messages! Love you ladies :)

One of ours?

Headed to an SOS event?

Week 16 standings

Chimo on this sunny Tuesday afternoon!

Another beautiful SOS week has come and gone, and while I thought we might have a new leader heading in to the weekend, some last minute hustle has proven me wrong. Here's this week's play by play...

• Monica is still in first place, but its a close race now. Some 'innocent' digit distribution allowed her to stay on top (where she likes it) with 269 points
• Brooke... I don't even know what to say here. She worked hard to earn herself the most points scored by any Becker in a single week. The promotion on age points and lady action were big contributors. She's biting at Monica's heels with 263 points
• Chelsea and Pam are all tied up after this week. No word from Chelsea (assuming White Shirt has imposed a gag order?) and Pam's action with her policeman have these lovely ladies at 207 a piece
• Cassie turned down action with the Giant Loser twice this week (not feeling it), but after some debate with Alex and Monica, decided that she could probably claim some big and beautiful points, landing her at 198 points for the week.
• No word from Gwen... assuming she's alive and well and still frequenting Corporal Octopus' single bed. But no reporting = no change on the points front. 115 points
• Alex... despite having the 'talk' with Hot Spur, and removing their respective online profiles, didn't hear from her man this weekend. Thus resulting in no change on the point front... so sad at 96 points
• No news from Victoria either. Hope she had a nice weekend. 75 points
• Our lovely Gemma has hopped across the pond for some vacay. So there will be no change to her points for a while, but hopefully she gets a whole lot of Scottish/British action and improves on her 23 points upon her return :)

The season is winding down folks... at this rate I will need to sleep with a 50+ female midget coworker who speaks 7 languages on an airplane to challenge the leaders! Now wouldn't that be a story!

Ciao

Cassie x

Long distance SOSing?

So since Calgary, I have been emailing with Calgary Kid on a regular basis, and there is even some discussion of him hopping on a flight at some point in September. It looks like the weekend fling may have a sequel.

Which has me wondering... is it possible to start a relationship off from a distance? Or is a relationship even where this is headed?

I have a good friend who met a guy two years ago while he was living in a different country, let alone city. Somehow the connection was strong enough that they spent a year long distance dating before he moved to live in the same city as her. They are now 2 years happy, talking about a long term future together. But this particular friend is much better at emailing, phoning, and generally better at communicating than I am. And he was in to it.

Calgary Kid is several months out of a relationship with a girl he thought was 'the one' and sorting his shit out. While we email at least once a day, long and interesting emails, he has said that he's not ready to date (but maybe in the fall??). I hate mixed messages!

So I throw this out to you, our faithful readers... is it possible to keep the spark alive over time and from a distance? And before I start to over analyze every word he writes, do I just go with the flow and see what happens, or do I ask him point blank what the heck he is doing with me if he's not willing to date??

All this internal debate has me quite pumped to see this movie when it comes out - Going the Distance: http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi4236052249/

That is all from me on this holiday Monday, cheerio!

Cassie x

Funny Beer

Chimo!

Well, it's obvious which SOSers didn't have long weekend plans....here I am blogging again.

I just wanted to share a funny conversation I had (via text) with Beer:

Monica: Would you please make a plan to see me like you do your friends?

Beer: But it's all sports plan. Different. So, next week, Wednesday?

Monica: Pretend I'm a sport too, one that you should play more often! Wednesday is good.

Beer: Is this a sport? The Rules of Bedroom Golf: http://bl.net/forwards/bedgolf.html

From the link, with my fav's highlighted:

The Rules of Bedroom Golf:

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.

10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

13. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.

14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

Let's just say Wednesday can't come quick enough for this Becker! In the meantime I should go for a bike ride and workout, to make sure I am in top form Wednesday for what will be an overdue date night with Beer....

Happy Holiday Sunday people!

xo

Monica

Late night show and tell

Surprisingly, Monica omitted probably the best part of last night in her blog this morning. Let's blame it on the drunken haze.

Not sure when in the evening Alex brought this up, but apparently when she and her female friend get a few drinks in them and they are at home, they compare nipples. Well... Monica and I, with about a bottle of wine in each of us, decided that we were game.

So fast forward to 3:30am, sitting around the island in Monica's kitchen... and we all whipped out a boob to compare.

Lessons learned:

• Alex's nipples never stick out unless she's having sex. Like ever, even if she's cold. Lucky bitch can wear thin bras and tight tshirts without a second thought.


• Monica's nipples... pretty normal
  
• My nipples... maybe a little bigger than average. I have had a few comments, so now its all coming together. I am not going to develop a complex about it though :)

It was definitely an education.

Cassie x

Not taking this lying down

I thought I was ok with someone else taking the lead, but it turns out I may not be ready.....so 'dinner' with Alex turned into salads and many bottles of wine with Cassie and Alex. We visited the patio at Spacco, and at first arrival we were a bit concerned that it was too PG for these SOS'ers, but as the night progressed and the DJ arrived it filled out with a decent crowd.

Sitting at a table does not lend itself well to SOS trouble. So we made our move to Alley Katz.........I'm not sure what to say about this part of the evening but here is a quick recap.

SOS'ers after too much wine, with a half decent band = getting our dance on. That is until the sweatiest, craziest dancer decides he wants to dance with me because I have "dance in my eyes". (Yes, this was his pick-up line). I basically had to stand there giving Alex and Cassie the finger while he danced around me. Cassie came to the rescue. It was a game of dance for a minute then save your fellow SOS'er from the next 25 year old who was up in our grill. Let's just say despite the fact that "alleyway" is a points category there would be no points of that nature scored by these SOS'ers with that crowd. The closest would have been the consideration of pulling a Brooke and making out with each other.

Back to my original point, I decided it was innocent enough to give my number to a couple guys, to bring myself back up into the lead. The good news was I gave the # to a phone I am going to cancel......so I don't need to play the avoid game.

To wrap up, there is a lesson I just can't seem to learn, but really need to try.....no more drunk texting!!! Why oh why? Sometimes it's the message, sometimes its the person......I will go with the least incriminating one from last night....."omg" to a friend at 2AM without explanation is just not something I 1. Remember, 2. Want to explain even if I did remember at 8AM when I wake up or 3. Think is a reasonable message to receive.

Monica out, for some sun and sleep.

xo

PS- meatballs at 3:30AM seemed like a good idea, I'm wondering if the other 2 who were a little sick this morning still think so....

Lezbot - Dedicated to Brooke

I got some news today, and my Friday afternoon (non)logical chain of thoughts went as follows:

Leader (new) : http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/torontomayoralrace/article/840908--john-tory-leaning-toward-run-for-mayor-s-chair

Lezbot (Brooke) : http://www.tmz.com/2010/07/30/lindsay-lohan-shamwow-sham-wow-vince-shlomi-offer-underground-movie/

Ninja (for some reason Lezbot lead to ninja): http://www.askaninja.com/

Star: explains photo

So I've been notified that my lead has officially been stolen....unless I get busy this weekend I think my top of charts status is over. I don't anticipate many (if any) points this weekend as Beer is under the weather (poor fella, nothing worse than a bad summer cold during a weekend of anticipated great weather). My weekend plans consist of meeting Alex for a patio drink and perhaps some dinner tonight, housework, backyard lounging, perhaps a BBQ Sunday with a couple friends....uhhh, that's it.

A fairly uneventful week for me, with a busy work schedule, catching up with married friends who have little one's, and are expecting more doesn't lend itself to scoring much. I did manage to faciliate a last-minute mid-week sessions with a few of the SOS'ers (Gemma, Alex and Brooke) and assisted Brooke in some girl on-base points. She continued on with more lezzie adventures this week, apparently mid-day with a co-worker today....thinking she could not have been drunk....so what's the excuse? Chelsea and I called it early....we have a Lezbot in the group. This is good news as we are all about diversity and inclusion. Way to go Brooke, glad to see you are embracing your sexual preference; you are in the right city for it, yay Toronto!! Maybe next year we will have an SOS float in support of Brooke!! http://www.pridetoronto.com/

Wishing you all a lovely long weekend....

Yabba Dabba Do!

Monica

xo

Blame it on the goose

It got me feeling loose.
Blame it on Petron.
It got me in the zone.
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

But I can’t stay mad. As I sit here and rub my sleepy eyes and give my head a few shakes for clarity, I am already planning a quick LCBO run shortly to try and avoid the Friday-of-a-long-weekend line up after work. I’m heading to a cottage for the weekend and I needs to get my drink on.

Had a fun evening out last night with some friends. The weather was amazing and so all but three of the venues we visited last night were patios. I’m quite comfortable with the friends that I was with and although they have seen me behaving rather badly, it hasn’t really been in the SOS sense. And I wasn’t jazzed about the idea of making a start of it so I didn’t have any expectations beyond a fun night out last night.

Gave my number out to three guys. I was indifferent so why not. One gentleman was circling the dance party we were having and we chatted a little, and he asked me if I preferred firemen or police officers. I said police officers. And then he flashed his police badge. Unbelievably cheesy but I still gave him my number then told him to scram as I was there to spend time with my friends. He agreed, said he would call me but then proceeded to hang around and keep trying to spend time. NO, for real – beat it, we’ll chat later. Went to the bar to get a round and his hanging around came in handy for helping carry over the drinks. This gave an opportunity for a quick makeout before the drinks were brought over, then he was asked to leave again.

Long story short there was another opportunity for some goodbye action outside when we were leaving, I said peace out as we really needed burritos. Naturally. Then my phone rings and dummy that I am answer it, and it is him. I tell him to call me tomorrow and hang up. Then he texts. Twice. I have yet to text back and not sure if I will. I’m going away on holidays in two weeks and am not really around at all before that so I don’t know if I want to play the ongoing text game forever. It gets old fast. And we get over it even faster.

Update: As I type this my phone literally just rang. It was him and he left a message. Last night I told him I was going out of town until Tuesday (somewhat true, Monday, but I like a buffer) and he sounds nice. He mentioned that he knows I am busy so maybe lunch some time next week. (Lunch = Daylight?! No booze?! He remembers a lot of details from last night, was he drinking?! Does he EVEN DRINK?! So many questions.) My head is too fuzzy to address any situations right now. I need another burrito to clear my thoughts…

Have a fantastic long (WHOOOOOO HOOOO) weekend everyone! Play hard, play safe.

Giving you the official Friday salute,
Pam

Musical stylings as we head in to the long weekend

Here's a little diddy to get the weekend off to a rocking good start!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rutArtds6r8

Long live the long weekend!

Poor guy...

I'm not sure where to begin this story has me in tears...

Okay, bit of backround. Met up with Monica, Gemma & Alex last night for some cocktails. I ended up making out with a couple people before the night was over. One of them being a friend of Monica's who is a woman. It was hilarious because Mon and I were out for a smoke and when we were finished I walked up to Anna, put my arm around her and when she looked at me I leaned in and went for it! She didn't see it coming, it was great!

The other was a guy I met just walking through the bar, we chatted, exchanged numbers and kissed for a bit before I left the bar with my girls; he will be known as Scarface.

Okay, now to the funny story! I have a colleague who knows all about SOS and actually reads our blog almost daily. We are going to him Greek God, he'll like that. ;)

So I'm chatting with Greek God this morning and begin telling him about my girl on girl action from last night and he cuts me off and tells me that I can't do this to him today. This is odd because he normally really enjoys when I tell him dirty stories. When I give him a confused look he explains...

He woke up at 04:00, got dressed in the dark and is wearing his wife's underwear!! ha ha ha! His junk is all uncomforatble, his ass is hanging out of the panties, he shaved on the weekend so there's stubble which would cause chaffing with every movement... the last thing he needs is to be turned on!! It's only 10:30, he's got the whole day ahead of him!! ha ha ha! Poor guy...

~Brooke

xo

Hanging' Tough

You know that saying that just when you think you can't go any further, push yourself and it’s amazing what you can do? It’s true. Okay well usually they are talking about a physical feat like climbing a mountain or doing one more set of push ups (or a set at all), and in that case I say go to hell. But when it comes to a night out, I raise my hand humbly in the air and say testify!

At long last I was able to make it out on the town Thursday for the opportunity to blow off steam. And I did. I was joined by Victoria after work and another non-SOS friend, and we proceeded to check out a variety of venues over the course of the night and sample the beverage menus as we went. At the fourth and final late night venue that we ended up at we got to talking with two dudes there that later joined us for after-bar burritos. The drunken conversation was fine enough (if you can consider walking down the street and taking turns singing the “one ton tomatooooo” song repeatedly at the top of our lungs actual conversation), but try as they might neither myself or my drunken pal who was passed out on the sidewalk waiting for a taxi, was going home with either of them. Points or no points, believe it or not Pamela’s got standards.

After a few hours sleep and one still drunk friend who called in sick laying on my couch later, I headed to work and struggled through the day with bloodshot eyes and a cloud of fatigue. I was meeting another friend right after work to head out for another evening of fun. And in our usual fashion, it didn't let us down. A few drinks at home and then a humid subway ride and we met up with some of the SOS gals and their friends on a patio. A few of us left for to find adventure in another venue. After dealing with the unbelievable douchery of a power-tripping bouncer, we kiss a$$ed our way in only to report his bad behaviour to his manager once inside. Forgive me, the rest of the night is abit patchy… so in usual form, bullet points for your review:

• a half group from a bachelor party (the other half was at a strip joint)
• lots of cute men in this said bachelor party
• one dude that I had my eye on since he walked in as I liked what I saw, but needed to survey the scene a little before I was making any moves. A tight group like that is hard to infiltrate right upon arrival! Thankfully he came over and bought me a drink* before I needed to make that first move, which we all know would have been incredibly slurry and reeking of hotmess-ness = huge potential MISS. No one likes to sink their own battleship.
• Continuing to chat with NKOTB as we'll call him (it was bugging me who he reminded me of, and the next day I realized it was Jordan Knight from New Kids on the Block – pre and post bloated Jordan thank you) and definitely feeling that he was into me, but I needed abit more time to be sure that the transition could smoothly be made. Somehow karaoke and how much he loved it (???) made its way into the conversation, so I rounded up the girls and dragged them to Spadina for a little after-hours performing.
• Arriving in the wilderness that is after-hours karaoke ‘hood, and understandably 2 of the 3 other girls wanted to bail to go home, which I totally got and was more than cool with. It was me and only me that stood to benefit from this sheer madness!
• Spending the next hour pouring over song books to awfully dubbed tracks in a little karaoke room with NKTOB and my non-SOS trooper of a friend PJ (introduced before in April in my Jays. Nachos. Man Child post), singing our hearts out and shaking an industrial strength tambourine like I was singing for my supper (kinda was in a way actually), and then heading home. NKOTB in tow.
• Stopping in at the local grocery store (which turns out to be his local grocery store too? He lives close by. Yikes, kiss my days of tromping around the neighbourhood unshowered and wearing old boxers to do my errands goodbye – for a little while anyway) for snacks and then heading home to mine.
• The sun coming up and me bidding farewell to NKOTB at the door so that he could go to the airport to pickup a family member as promised. Somewhere along the way finding out that he was Belgian and has lived here for 7 years, explaining the slight accent.
• He speaks 7 languages, which of course I found out over casual conversation. (“Oh so your obviously speak English and Belgian…. any others?” I’m so smooth. At least this time I heard correctly.)
• He works for the government and carries a badge for his job which allows him to make some kind of charges against people. But no handcuffs. I checked.

* no Roofalin was added, this is confirmed as upon reflection I did not exhibit any of the telltale signs that “Roofies” are known and coveted for.

It feels good to be back.


Pamela

Week 15 standings

Ladies and gentlemen, below is the "Take it to the streets" week recap!

• While she didn't get busy in the great outdoors this week, Monica is still topping the charts at 261 points.
• Chelsea has been as quiet as a mouse these days, perhaps because she has been holed up with White Shirt. However, a whole lot of recycling has her breaking through the 200 mark to land at 207 points for the week.
• Not far behind, and one of two Beckers to earn bonus points this week for outdoor action, Brooke finished the week at 205 points.
• Pamela is back! A friday evening HR and some digit distribution has this lady at 186 points.
• Cassie took advantage of the Giant Loser (and the bonus points program) in the park this week, and has landed at 183 points as a result.
• Gwen, ever the quiet one, has not reported any points. However I heard whisperings of LOADS of recycling going on... for now she's at 115 points.
• The Hot Spur is staying steady in Alex's line up, taking her to 96 points for the week. Only one more recycle and you're in the century club Alex - do it!
• Victoria, ever the social butterfly, was out and about all week, but alas did not find any winning gentlemen upon which to bestow her charms. She remains at 75 points.
• Gemma made no movement on the points front this week either. But with a couple of excellent weekends planned, this could be a'changing! 23 points.

Thats it for another week. Don't forget our promotion for Week 16 - "Age Doesn't Matter" two times the normal points allocation for all ages! Get going ladies!

Cassie x

Monica on a Monday

Chimo,

It's been a while, with Stampede followed by a work trip I sadly haven't had much time for SOS updates...or SOS fun really.

So here I am, checking in. I know that Cassie has posted on the Stampede, and that wasn't easy to recap....it's all very foggy, which makes perfect sense when you start drinking at 8AM and by 10AM find yourself drinking straight from the pitcher.....can't wait for next year's Stampede!

What else? Well, unfortunately I haven't spent much time with Beer these days, our schedules just don't seem to line up; or is it a question of effort? I'm struggling a bit with this one. I mean there are very logical explanations as to why we haven't seen much of each other, like not being in the same city, but I'm just not sure how the rest of the summer is going to play out; perhaps our social habits are too similar and don't seem to lend easily to spending time together, or mixing the social calendars together. When we are together it is fun and I really enjoy it but it just doesn't seem often enough....and a girl has needs!! I think best bet is to just let the rest of the summer play out, and see if the fall holds better scheduling opportunities.

Can't believe I missed out on "Take it to the Streets" points last week....mostly due to my travel schedule, and when Beer and I finally had plans he had something important (and very legitimate) come up causing the need for a reschedule... hmmmm, I am going to have to work the bonus points coming up if I want to hold the lead....I believe a few of the girls have crossed over into the 200's, and soon enough I expect they will leap-frog over me!

Well, a busy work week ahead, but I am thinking a visit Wednesday to one of my fav karaoke joints is in the cards; by mid-week I am going to NEED a break from the real world!

Keep your stick on the ice,

Monica

xo

I'm with the band!!

Hi all, Brooke checking in with some recaps!

Rewind back to the weekend of July 16-18. The Friday night I met up with a buddy of mine, let's call him Mr. Greek, downtown and started drinking at The Black Bull around 4. Mr. Greek and I started getting hungry after a few pints and headed to The Bier Markt on King for something to eat. I love the Bier Markt because they have my beer on tap, mmmm Erdinger! Dinner and many drinks later we head over to Foggy Dew to meet up with a girlfriend of mine that is there with a couple of guys.

One of the men there, well, not sure we can call him a man, is in his mid-late 30's and is on his second marriage. After sitting next to this guy for 5 minutes he informs me that he would like me to "sit on his face." Classy!!! Here comes the good part, keep in mind, I am a sick sick person... when asked why his first marriage fizzled he replied, "I punched her paraplegic sister in the face and went to jail" HA HA HA HA HA!! This is the funniest thing I have ever heard and have been laughing about it since!! <--- See, sick, sick person!

Anyway, Mr. Greek is aware of SOS and was a big help to me in the points department that night with a quick make out on King St. before hailing a cab. Thanks again buddy!! :) I am completely inebriated at this point and the cabby actually lets me smoke in the cab on the way. When flicking my butt out the window the heater somehow falls off and comes back in the car. It falls down the back of my pants and I end up with a huge burn just above my ass and a smaller burn inside the top of my ass crack! Really?!?!? Add that to the SOS injuries list!

Saturday night I went to a block party in Orangeville with a couple of friends of mine. They are a couple and we were staying with a couple they know that just moved onto this street in May so we are all outsiders in our own way. I thought the whole idea was great. It cost each person $18, they shut the street down, they have a huge bbq and hire a band... oh the band! :)

The beginning of the night consisted of my friends and I sitting on the front lawn laughing and talking with ourselves because we know no one!! Give me about 7 Heineken and that changes!

The keyboardist of the band walks by a few times throughout the evening and now the liquid courage has given me the strength to yell out to him to request a song... "Hey band guy!" is what comes out of my mouth. He stops and we chat for a bit, I request a song and he tells me that he will check with the band. Band Guy is pretty cute...

Just before Band Guy comes back two gents came walking past us arguing about who would go for the Red Bull run so the Jaggerbombs could take place... my kind of people! I offer to go and they are beside themselves that I would actually do this (the store is not even a km away, plus I get a Jaggerbomb out of the deal). Now at this point I am in my pajamas because I didn't bring jeans and just wore a light dress during the day. I come back with the Red Bull and am now the hit of the party! We down 4 shots in a row and I tell Gord (Jagger dude #1) that I at least need a smoke break before I do any more shots.

The band is playing a couple houses up and are a GREAT cover band! I hear Sublime start and I grab my buddy who I am visiting and tell him to come dance with me. Now I am dancing in the middle of the street in my pink pajama pants & little green t. Band Guy sees me, points and winks! Sweet, I know the band!! I don't leave said dance floor unless to get a beer from the house and if Gord is around perhaps another Jaggerbomb. It's close to 11 and the band is wrapping up and I still have not heard my song, I didn't hear it at all! :(

When the band finished I walked up and began chatting with Keyboard Dude. The singer joins in the conversation by complimenting me on my hair, his is the same but all over the place, as expected.

This is running on so I'll cut it short. Scott (visiting friend) and I are invited to the bar with them after they have packed up all their gear, even in my pj's I accept the offer. That's right, sitting at Boston Pizza in Orangville in my pajamas!! Classy!!

I ended up chatting with the singer for quite some time when we went out for a smoke and I tell ya, pretty sure I would have hit a home run with him if it wasn't 3am when we left the bar and he said he was just going to crash. Would have been some good points because I'm sure he is in his mid 40's but as I've said in previous posts, I have a thing for singers!

But I did exchange digits with Band/Keyboard Guy and we've actually been texting quite a bit since. He's really quite sweet and I have every intention in going to another one of their shows.

Band Guy might even be joining us for Potato Festival in a couple of weeks!!

As for the Brit, I'm not sure what's going on there. He seems to be pulling back a bit. I'll keep you posted on this situ.

~Brooke

xo

Calgary Stampede Round Up

Howdy Partners!

Cassie and Monica checking in (a little belatedly) after an incredible weekend at the Calgary Stampede. Yee Haw!

We knew going in that good times were bound to happen – our two day itinerary included a boozy breakfast, a Kid Rock concert, catching up with friends, checking out the rodeo, and spending time at the legendary Nashville North. But neither of us were prepared for the hilarity that was Stampede.

In the interest of space and time the rest of this update will be in highlight reel format:

• Hotel was decked out western styles, including a teepee, re-named bar/saloon, and all the staff were dressed as cowboys
• Woke up at 7am on Friday to head to our first event – the Buckn breakfast where eggs and bacon are accompanied by unlimited pitchers of beer, Caesars, vodka orange…
• Playing drinking games at 9am. FLIP CUP!
• Meeting a dude at our breakfast table who’s name is Hung Cock Deep. No joke.
• Getting temp-tattooed with my new friend Cathy… and Monica asking upon our return to the table if Cathy’s tattoo is a lobster (it was a raging bull)
• Cassie meeting her Calgary boyfriend… who we will refer to as Calgary Kid (or CK for short) going forward. Big ups to Monica for the assist here.
• Monica being scarred for life on her boob by a “I love hooters” sticker. You can still see the mark days later! Oh the irony.
• Drunk two stepping at 11am
• After the breakfast, accompanying Monica on a work errand. We were driven there in a big yellow school bus. That’s right….this likely would have been better done before breakfast.
• Joining our breakfast friends at the next bar… proceeded by dropping several beers, more drunk dancing and Cassie bailing for a little batting practice with Calgary Kid (yikes, it wasn’t even 4pm!)
• The group reconvened at the hotel bar to head out to the Kid Rock concert… and we were joined by CK. See? Calgary boyfriend.
• Discovering the Recycle Wagon outside the saddle dome. Photo shoot ensued, much to the confusion of our friends.
• After the show we headed out to find our next drinking hole… because we needed to drink more. Calgary Kid had a friend at the concert that we met up with and who was supposed to get us in to some bar. But after waiting around for ages, and then charging ahead (calling us drag asses in the process) we lost him and got in cabs to head back to the hotel/Calgary Kid’s house
• Cassie had a nice visit out to the Calgary suburbs before doing the taxi ride of shame back to the hotel room in the wee hours of the morning, only to find that Monica still hadn’t made it home from the night before! Dirty stop out. (Really she went with a local girlfriend to a house party… but I like calling people dirty stop outs)
• After a quick power nap, Cassie gets a call from Monica that her room key card isn’t working and can she let her in? Cassie goes to open the door and guess who’s not there? That’s right. Monica got confused when exiting the elevator…..8th floor, 9th floor….apparently it makes a difference.
• We rallied enough that morning to grab a greasy breakfast (sans booze), and headed to the Stampede midway. Just looking at the rides was enough to make a Becker queasy.
• Headed to the Rodeo to watch some ‘real men’ ride bucking broncos and tie up baby cows. Cassie had a nap.
• Of course the cure for how we were feeling was to drink copious amounts of beer. Which we did. For eight hours. God bless Nashville North.
• At Nashville North, we met up with Cassie’s friend Fiona (from Calgary) and her friends. Highlights (if you want to call them that) from that session include:

(text from Cassie to Bachelor Party friend who was en route) OMG you have to get here. Magnum PI is here and my friend is making out with Justin Burberry. Bieber. (damn auto-correct)

Fiona and friends finding a 3 foot stuffed Barack Obama and carrying him around the bar for the rest of the evening

Meeting up with the Bachelor Party (who despite including two firemen and an NHLer were a little lame at that point) and livening up the group by giving them the necklace shot glasses we acquired earlier in the day, and then filling them with any kind of booze we could find. The lame-o’s took them off not long after. We thought bachelor parties were meant to be wild…turns out a couple of Beckers in Calgary is much more of a party.

While Cassie talked to her ex who was part of the Bachelor party (bad news, but we won’t dwell on this), she looks over to see her friend Fiona chatting to a guy we’ll call Wheels… because he’s in a wheelchair. Cassie goes in for the ‘save’, only to have Fiona tell her to BACK OFF, he’s really cool apparently LOL

After some group dance floor action (Wheels can really move!), Cassie may have said some regrettable truths to the ex/Bachelor party dude (he’s not the bachelor, but is married) which prompted a sudden and deep urge to get the hell out of the bar

• So the visiting Calgary Trio (Monica, Cassie and Cathy) hop in a cab, headed home or to meet Fiona again at the next bar. Again, more drinking? Yes!
• Cassie bails on the group for Calgary Kid. Who proceeds to walk her all over town (or so it felt at this point). There may have been some park action before these two lovebirds headed back to the suburbs for one last hurrah.
• Monica and Cathy opt for food and bed. Monica is working on two bad hours of sleep after all the shenanigans from Friday.
• Sunday = OMG I’m sweating booze/departure day. Great lunch with Fiona and friend before heading out to the airport.

Lessons from the weekend

• Stampede is awesome and we are going again, and again, and again.
• Everybody looks sexy in a cowboy hat.
• Chimo is hello in Inuktitut. (pronounced chee-mo)
• Cowboy boots are a new addiction.
• Apparently stampede is the place for all food on a stick, ie Pizza on a stick.
• Trying to put together a recap/good blog entry from such an away game is basically impossible….everything is so foggy when you start drinking at 8am on day one!

Over and out.
Cassie and Monica x